Saturday 31 December 2011

Free latest Adult SMS Collection 5

SMS: 81
Why do women have their breast on top? Because if they had it down, the 'PUSSY' would drink all the milk !

SMS: 82
Guy says: Remember the 1st time I used alcohol as a substitute for girl. Wat happen? Asked his friend. Guy: Well, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.

SMS: 83
5 road signs which best describe female organs 1.deep excavation 2. Slippery when wet 3. Stop on red signal 4. Slow down curves and hump 5. Men at work

SMS: 84
A guy walks up to a sexy babe n asks her if she would like to take part in a magic trick. She said OK. He says lets go to my place we fuck and then I disappear.

SMS: 85
Nipple Nipple dont be far, can I Press u in my car. Up above the chest so high, always milky never dry. Let me suck u don't feel shy, in the braziers u will die

SMS: 86
Man walked into ladies toilet. Lady who was inside shouted 'THIS IS EXCLUSIVELY FOR WOMEN'. The man, unzipping his pants said, 'THIS TOO'!

SMS: 87
Mobile is the only thing that a man proudly says - Mine is smaller than yours!

SMS: 88
I Tried Phone Sex Once, But The Holes Were Too Small.

SMS: 89
A woman gave birth to 6 babies, on seeing this she got off the hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted, "I told u not to do in doggy style."

SMS: 90
Girl says: Mom, our neighbor's son have penis like peanut. Mom: Is it too small? Girl: No, its salty!!

SMS: 91
Dear lady subscribers: due to a fault in magnetic field and signals of our service your handsets will vibrate for one hour So keep it in your pussy & enjoy! *Customer Care*

SMS: 92
a kid asked the priest " father, what is your pastime? "the priest tapped the kid ' s shoulder and replied "Nun, my child, nun "

SMS: 93
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.on their first night both were crying. why???coz she didn ' t know anything, and he had forgotten everything

SMS: 94
Touch it gently.. Put ur finger inside.. If hole is big put three fingers..Rub it up & down gently .......... that's the right way ofwashing the glass!!!!!

SMS: 95
What is the difference between a Cricketer and a Condom?Cricketer drops the catch, and a Condom catchs the drops.

SMS: 96
Why are women known as the best architects?Coz theyare the only one who can demolish an erection without damaging the structure...

SMS: 97
Q.Why does the pleasure of Sex diminish after marriage?A: Because the realisation hits u that u are in bed with a relative.

SMS: 98
Husband ask, "Do u know meaning of WIFE - Without Information Fighting Everytime!!!"Wife replies, "It means - With Idiot For Ever!!!

SMS: 99
Son to Dad-Daddy, does a heart have legs? Dad-of course not! Son-don’t lie, I heard u saying ”sweet heart..spread ur legs!”

SMS: 100
Woman: Teach me how to play tennis. Coach:Sure,hold the racket the way u hold ur lovers organ.Woman: ok Coach:Madam pls,take the racket out of ur mouth.

Free latest Adult SMS Collection 4

SMS: 61
Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good

SMS: 62
A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when theres a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!

SMS: 63
SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Gd! U'll enjoy it! I'll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise, So do it everiday, gd for u.

SMS: 64
Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A: A woman bcoz she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.

SMS: 65
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

SMS: 66
When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.

SMS: 67
American students say:.....people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.

SMS: 68
A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....

SMS: 69
If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?

SMS: 70
Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts!

SMS: 71
Sex is evil and evil's a sin.but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck in!!

SMS: 72
Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son

SMS: 73
Peter Peter Pumpkin eater.had a wife & liked to beat her.smacked her twice around da head. F**ked her arse & went 2 bed

SMS: 74
A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!



SMS: 75
Once a elephant asked a camel:"Why do u have boobs on ur back?"Camel replied:"thats a fucking good question from someone with a dick on his face."

SMS: 76
Difference between a hen and prostitute? Hen: Cock-a-doodle do. Pros: Any cock will do.

SMS: 77
Woman complaining to dentist: "I'd rather get pregnant than have a tooth filled!" Dentist: Decide so I can adjust the chair accordingly..!

SMS: 78
Newton's 3 laws. 1.Every man has a pole, woman has a hole 2.When pole enters hole, it produces a new soul 3.When hand in motion, it produces lotion.

SMS: 79
What’s the difference btween a microwave oven and a woman? A microwave oven doesn't scream when u put a piece of meat in it.

SMS: 80
What is the height of safe SEX?....... person Masturbating with CONDOM on.

Free latest Adult SMS Collection 3

SMS: 41
Love is a gamble,
Sex is a game,
Boyz do the thing
Girls get the blame,
1 night in pleasure
9 months of pain
1 day in hospital and
a junior needs a name

SMS: 42
Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

SMS: 43
Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”

SMS: 44
I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.

SMS: 45
Two men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”

SMS: 46
Three FEELINGS
what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant

SMS: 47
Fair & lovely ke ad ma face dikhaya
Ponds ke ad ma hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad ma baal dikhaye
Phir always ke ad ma cheating kyun?

SMS: 48
A girl phoned me
the other day and said …
“Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
I went over. Nobody was home

SMS: 49
In a bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere! You Know whose that boy? Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap! Dirty people always think dirty.

SMS: 50
I want to suck you … lick you … wanna move my tongue all over you … wanna feel you in my mouth … yep, that’s how you … eat an ice cream!

SMS: 51
If u Fuck a woman Nicely
U will b Loved for Lyf!
If u Luv a woman Nicely
U will b Fucked for Lyf!
Moral:
Strive for Quality Sex!
Which may equal Quality Luv-!

SMS: 52
A man wanted 2 get married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wid big tits!

SMS: 53
Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!

SMS: 54
I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thundery.. Every thucking day!

SMS: 55
HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub tease pamper console worship respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job

SMS: 56
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!

SMS: 57
Latest porn releases: shaving private ryan. position impossible. as big as it gets. forest hump. riding miss daisy. starwhores and pornocchio

SMS: 58
I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!

SMS: 59
I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...

SMS: 60
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Free latest Adult SMS Collection 2

SMS: 21
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me? I'm new in town, can you give me directions to your flat?

SMS: 23
I’m not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

SMS: 24
Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry ull find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! hav
A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

SMS: 25
Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.

SMS: 26
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

SMS: 27
Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?

SMS: 28
Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.

SMS: 29
"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!

See what a spelling mistake can do...
Santa went to Goa. Sent SMS to his wife: Having a wonderful time, wish u were Her

SMS: 31
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removin a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

SMS: 32
sardar `s girlfriend removed all of her clothes and said
" Treat me like your wife" sardar picked up her clothes and started to wash them ............!

SMS: 33
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child

SMS: 34
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out
SMS: 35
take me 2 a lonely place
make sure noone is watching
rip me naked
hold me by my waist take me to ur lips
and........................


have a break and have a kitkat.

SMS: 36
Jeeto: If I die what'll you do?
Santa: I may also die.
Jeeto: Why?
Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.

SMS: 37
2- Sardar Ji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.

SMS: 38
A short thing
its get longer as u hold it
& pass between woman’s breast
& enters into a small hole
What is it?

SMS: 39
A man while making love to his maid,
exclaimed ‘Martha ur are sweeter than my wife’
The maid smiled and said
‘i know ‘cos the driver always tells me so’

SMS: 40
It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.

Free latest Adult SMS Collection 1

SMS: 01
Why do guys always have to say:
I'm going to court you now for you to be my girl.
Isn't it nicer to say:
Just love me now and be my girl and I'll court you forever!

SMS: 02
Never reject a girl in life bcoz a gud girl gives u Happiness
and bad girls gives u experience..
Both r essential in life...So enjoy every girl Friend!!!!

SMS: 03
If there is one mistake in my whole life that i can't tolerate. It is when i have loved, though I knew it wouldn't be appreciated.

SMS: 04
Girl To A Tattoo Artist:
How Much Do U Charge For Tattooing
An Animal Just Above My Knee?
Artist: -£100 For Tiger,Rabit And Lion,
But Girraffe Is Free.

SMS: 05
Q. Last but not least Secret of long life
A. Morning two eggs, evening two pegs......and night two legs

SMS: 06
One day there was this naked man and elephant, the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds, ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"

SMS: 07
Teacher: Name some films that have almost same stories?
Pappu: Madam, Blue films.

SMS: 08
Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

SMS: 09
Which Part...
of a man's body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!
ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...

SMS: 10
A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said

SMS: 11
Fuck it off…

SMS: 12
It's better to stay away from girls. Only one or two can bring SMILE to your life, remaining will steel your HAPPINESS from your life santhu

SMS: 13
one day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked.
I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."

SMS: 14
Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

SMS: 15
A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

SMS: 16
there are 3 chambers in my heart.
1 for ALLAH
1 for ABBOO
1 for AMMEE
Oh wat about u dear?
Sorry no place 4 u in my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bcoz
You Are MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SMS: 17
I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets:
one to get in and another to get out.
18. How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

SMS: 18
A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!

SMS: 19
I'm popey the sailorman, I'm member of the klu klux clan, when I pull the triger, I kill a fuc***g nigger. I'm popey the sailor man, toet toet.

SMS: 20
Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!

Dirty SMS Collection 2

20. If necessity is the mother of invention, then Frustration is the father of masturbation!

21. While preparing her RESUME a young Lady wrote:
Special qualification: I am Flexible enough to Perform in all Positions.

22. Importance of UNITY explained at it's best:
One Leg of a woman tells the other: UNITED we are saved, divided we are Fucked.

23. What do politicians & porn stars have in common?
They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!

24. Boss to a lady during interview: What's the difference between Paperclip and Screw?
Lady: I don't know, I have never been paperclipped.

25. What is the definition of a healthy virgin?
One who has never been Bed RIDDEN !

26. Same Sex Marriage: What's the big deal in same sex marriages? I've been married to the same woman for 25 years and had the same old sex all that time.

27. Two prostitutes were talking,
1st: We r in the best business in the world.
2nd: How?
1st: We have it, sell it, and we still have it.

28. Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!

29. Great door signs:
Gynecologist: Dr Jones at your cervix.
Septic tank truck: Yesterday's meals on wheels.
Plumber's office: Wwe repair what ur husband fixed.
Tire shop: Invite us to ur next blowout.
Electrical shop: Let us remove ur shorts.
Maternity room: Push, Push, Push.

30. Similarity between a dick & matchstick?
Both have heads without brains, both flare up at slightiest friction, both fizzle out after showing valour for 2secs !!!

31. In life, never look down on anybody, unless u r getting a lovely view of the cleavage!

32. Why is a woman's pubic hair curly?
So that it won't poke a man in the eye!

33. Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today, tomorrow u hav to do it again.

34. A just born baby was laughing hard with its tiny fingers closed. The confused Pediatrician unfolded his tiny fingers & found... A Birth Control pill !

35. Why can't anybody satisfy a Woman Completely?
Because nobody has a Dick made of Gold, Decorated with Diamonds & which Ejaculates Cash!

36. Life is all about Ass; We are either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one!

37. 70 ways to make a woman happy: No. 1 is shopping & the rest is '69'.

38. Response during sex:
Mistress: Wow ! Darling this is great.
Whore: Come on finish it now.
Girlfriend: Ah! Please slowly.
Wife: Ceiling needs painting !

39. Height of being Realistic: An actress being fucked by a producer widout using a condom saying that she has 2 play the role of a Pregnant lady in his next film!

40. Fact of life: When a girl attains maturity, she wants to wear a bra... When a boy attains maturity, he wants to remove that bra.....

Dirty SMS Collection 5

80. Condoms are not 100% safe. The other day my friend was wearing one and he got hit by a bus!

81. Accident takes a minute but sufferings last a lifetime. Plz wear Condom & Helmet on ur appropriate heads during Respective Driving.

82. Ancient Chinese wisdom for men: Always marry a woman with small hands. Makes u'r cock look bigger!

83. Q: What did the sign s on the door the door of the Whorehouse say?

84. Ganguly to his wife during sex- PITCH is dry, Grass not cut, Slow outfield.
Wife (Dona) replies- Nonsense!!! Inzamaam scored century on the same PITCH!!!!

85. Students of 5th class asked teacher:
can we have kids?”

Teacher replied ”Never”
Boy said to girl :

I told you not to worry

86. Maths teacher: If you have
twevel chocolates
and u give
five to meena,
three to teena and
four to nina
then what will you get?
Student: three new girlfriends.

87. Miss: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?Student: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

88. A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!

89. What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.

90. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

91. A boy asked his mom where do babies come from and the mom said the stork, then the boy said who has s*x with the stork?

92.A train is bout 2 crash! A frantic virgin strips off & says can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die? So a man takes off his clothes & says iron these!

93. fucking girls yes papa
using condoms no papa
getting AIDS ha ha haaaa.

94. Prof teaching muscle movement, asks a lady: Do you know what your asshol_e does when you have an orgasm?
Lady: Sure, he's at the office, working!

95. What's the geographical definition of sex?
It's an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, occasionally with a little help from Greece!

96. A kiss is called humanity if its on cheek, love if on lips, passion if on breast, humor if on navel, sex if on vagina and called bravery if its on ass hole.

97. Old chinese proverb says: "Man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok."

98. Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.

99. A frustrated father's defensive reply in a sms msg to his offensive unruly son... I should have wasted u in the bathroom!

100. A doc advising his patient who had a heart attack: No smoking, no drinking & hv sex only with ur wife because it is important that you avoid excitement.

Dirty SMS Collection 4

61. Girl: Xcuse me brother, that's my seat.
Boy: OK! But I'm not ur brother, my father never fucked ur mom.
Girl: True, but my father did !

62. What's a contraceptive pill?
It's the second best thing that a woman can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy. Now dont ask wats the first thing!

63. Teacher: What do u know about Sensex?
Pappu When we have sex with Riya Sen, Raima Sen, Rimi Sen, Konkana Sen & Sushmita Sen etc. it's called Sen Sex!

64. During war, enemy soldier sees 3 nuns. He says I want revenge & remoevd his pants. Young nun requested Plz spare older Nun.
Older nun: Shut up u Bitch, War is War.

65. Jack: It's just too hot to wear clothes today, but what would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn naked?
Wife: That I married u for ur money.

66. How do you define a virgin?
On the Verge but not in!

67. Lecturer in a medical college class: Man's semen contains glucose. One of the female students had doubt and she asks: Then why it doesn�t taste sweet?

68. Sex is like your Income... You never disclose what you get, but you always think others are getting more.

69. What is virginity?
Virginity is a big issue over a small tissue.

70. What has fifty teeth & guards a monster?
Your Pant Zip !

71. Why is Pool called a fool's game?
Coz u hold the stick & put the ball in the hole, instead of holding balls & putting the stick in the hole!

72. What is the definition of a Lesbian?
Yet another Damm Woman trying to do a Man's job!!

73. Last night at a party, someone yelled: Married guys, stand next to the person who's made your life worth living! The bartender was almost crushed!

74. A couple, recently married, were unhappy with the whole thing... He was unhappy with the hole and She was unhappy with the thing!

75. Tell me the name of the guy who made u pregnant?
Darling: Dear, if u eat fifteen bananas, can u tell which one made u fat.

76. He asked: How do you feel about SEX.
She said: Well I like it Infrequently.
HE asked: Is that One word or Two?

77. Dear Sexscriber, Ur SEX Balance is Low, Ur Account Will be Put into Virginity Mode. Pls Refuck as Soon as Possible to Keep Ur Account ACTIVE. Condoms Apply...

78. Two Gays got into a heated argument. Whilst arguing, 1 of them shouted: Kiss My Ass!
The other replied: This is not the time 2 b romantic.

79. AIDS Awareness: Try different positions with the same woman instead of the same position with different women. Plz pass it on to all careless fuckers. I just did.

Dirty SMS Collection 3

41. Luv is not measured by Hugging, Kissing & sex. It's all about Trusting Respecting & Accepting a person with open legs, closed eyes & wet lips saying Push it more.

42. Sex is evil
Evil is sin
Sin is forgiven
So let's begin.

43. Knowledge is like ur underwear... U should have it, but not show it off & most important, while having sex, keep ur knowledge aside!

44. If your boss says: Nothing is impossible, ask him to wear a condom after sex.

45. Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why ?
Dr: The compounder will not be here...

46. Playboy has started a special edition for Married men. The same woman is featured every month.

47. Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREAST?
Gril: Enough to help a Man's boneless thing stand up.

48. Why did Shahid and Kareena break up?
Because she wanted to have Saif Sex !

49. First Doc: I had sex with my patient. I'm feeling guilty
Second Doc: It happens in our profession. Take it easy yaar.
First Doc: Yeah, but I'm a Veterinary doctor.

50. A old woman calls the Police department and says: I have a Sex Maniac in my apartment. Pick him up in the morning!

51. A man is a king. A king is a ruler. A ruler is 12 inches.
Are you a man?"

52. Monica Lewinsky turned 31. How time flies! It seems like yesteraday when she was crawling around the White House on her hands n knees puttin everything in her mouth!

53. Give an example of Complete business failure due to negligence.
A pregnant prostitute.

54. Twenty-Five Uuseless things in a Man's body: 20 Nails you can't Hammer, 2 Tits you can't Milk, 1 Cock that doesn't Crow, and 2 Balls you can't Throw !!

55. What's the similarity between women & folding chair?
Both are useless unless until u don't open their legs.

56. Stock broker catches wife in bed with other man: What's going on?
Wife: Due to boom in market & ur less investment capacity, honey I've gone for PUBLIC ISSUE!

57. A Survey Report:
Women who sleep on their sides are Sensitive.
Who sleep on their stomach are Competent.
Who sleep on their back with Legs in the air are MOST POPULAR!

58. Lady: Dr.! How long is it before I can resume my normal Sex Life?
Doctor (shocked): You are the first one to ask me that after a tonsil-operation!

59. Sex n shopping have one thing in common: In both the cases, men start sweating in 15 minutes n women want to go on and on and on and on!

60. Just remember: No matter how hot & sexy a babe is, someone somewhere is tired of fuckin her!

Dirty SMS Collection 1

Dirty SMS Collection
1. Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow? Listen you prat i live in a
flat so how the damn do i know.

2. Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now
they have a son.

3. Mary had a little lamb & tied it to a pylon a 1000 volts shot up its ass & turned
it into nylon

4. Mirror Mirror on the wall.Whos the fairest of them all?The mirror laughed & den it
spat- It sure aint u.u ungly prat!

5. I was nervous at first, it was big & long &went straight up, Ihad to try it... i eased myself
onto it & i liked it! i went up & down on it, i love escalators now

6. From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue
feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!

7. In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think
of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because
I am hungry.

8. Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But
1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

9. I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

10. It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed
just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea!

11. Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could
work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!

12. At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow
quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?

13. Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in
slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam

14. Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel
u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?

15. I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust
in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH

16. come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied
lovingly urs TOILET!!!!

17. Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u...
well get out of my way!

18. At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

19. Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.

Top Angry SMS Collection 5

81. 3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

82. Have you ever been to the moon ? no ! sit on my rocket and I will take you there .

83. U r a nice person...
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning...
1st. pray to God so that u can live....
2nd.take a bath so that others can live....

84. R u mad?
Y r u reading me?
There is nothing in me.
Just stop it, u r wasting ur time.
I think u will never stop reading me.
OK
Read me now.

85. Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...

86. I m D best
I can prove it
I can c the T in T cup
Can u c the world in world cup?
I can send my address to your mobile
Can u send ur mobile to my address

87. Scientists all over the world r wondering,
how long a human being can live without brain.
Please tell them ur age.

88. He would throw a drowning man both ends of the rope just to see the look on his face.

89. Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is up to.

90. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

91. Get mad, then get over it.

92. I have lots of jokes in my inbox,
But I can’t send you all of them,
It will take a lot of time,
So I’m sending you just 1 joke
.
.
.
“You are so beautiful”

93. touch ur heart, u will feel the rhythm of ur heartbeat.
touch ur head u will feel the rhythm of empty pot.tin...tin..

94. Scientific Question For U.. How Does Blood Reach Ur Brain,,.. Simple.. Direction Of Liquid Is Always Towards The EMPTY SPACE.. HaHaHa

95. Close ur eyes n think about yourself,
ur face
ur style
ur nature
ur smile
ur looks
Now open your eyes
Free main HORROR film

96. Take a bowl…
fill it with grapes
Put ur hand in it..
Go in front of the mirror…
U know what ull find???
Langur ke haath mein angoor

97. There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen.

98. Anger is one letter short of danger.

99. Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge.

100. Never write a letter while you are angry.

Top Angry SMS Collection 4

61. Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him.

Angry SMS: 61
Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

Angry SMS: 62
Sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

Angry SMS: 63
Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.

Angry SMS: 64
If you're angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug - which is all the more reason to do so. It's hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that's precisely what happens when we hug each other.

Angry SMS: 65
Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.

Angry SMS: 66
Not the fastest horse can catch a word spoken in anger.

68. If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot.

69. In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.

70. The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough.

71. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

72. Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I"m going to mine.
Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.
Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell

73. Those beautiful eyes,
that incredible body,
such a brain,
a sexy mouth,
nice smile ....
but that is enough about me,
tell me how you are?

74. Scientists all over the world r wondering,
how long a human being can live without brain.
Please tell them ur age.

75. U r Ultimate
U r Lovely
U r Likable
U r Unique
In short ......
U r ULLU !!!

76. Forest king Virappan died last week. In his memory let us all
switch off our mobiles for 2 mins. Plz forward this to all local
criminals, as I did.

77. I can"t Believe u Did That!
Again?
For God Sake! LORD!!
Why u Still Doing it?
Truth is out now!
MENTAL CASE!!

78. Q.Nobody likes you because you are a:
A.Cunt
B.Wanker
C.Rsole
D.Twat
50/50
Phone a friend?
Ring me! I will tell you!
Press Down if u think u r MAD.

79. With all the Rose's Perfume & with all the lights in the world & with all the children's Smiles...
I Wish U that ur all dreams comes True..
*HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007

80. Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.

Top Angry SMS Collection 3

Angry SMS: 41
U r a nice person...
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning...
1st. pray to God so that u can live....
2nd.take a bath so that others can live....

Angry SMS: 42
R u mad?
Y r u reading me?
There is nothing in me.
Just stop it, u r wasting ur time.
I think u will never stop reading me.
OK
Read me now.

Angry SMS: 43
Government of Pakistan has introduced a new rule...
Good looking people should be thrown out of country!!! U r safe..oh! No where should I Hide???

Angry SMS: 44
Disturbing you...
new software has been introduced. Any 2 persons having it in their mobiles can send free SMS 2 each other.
To install it in ur mobile follow instructions otherwise ur mobile may be damaged. Press Down
Press Up
Wrong key pressed,Ur Mobile damaged

Angry SMS: 45
Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...

Angry SMS: 46
Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

Angry SMS: 47
Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty..
so the world needs YOU after all!

Angry SMS: 48
Why does a stupid blond girl never swim on her belly? ...
When she feels something wet she turn on her back.

Angry SMS: 49
U r sweet like
TOM
Cute like
JERRY
Naughty like
BUGGS BUNNY
Clever like
ALADIN,
Strong like
POPYE

INSHORT


ChaLtay phirTay CaRtoOn haIn aAp
Many Many Happy Resturns of the day 2 U

Angry SMS: 50
I"d love to ask how old you are,
but unfortunately I know you can"t count that high.

Angry SMS: 51
Events will take their course, it is no good of being angry at them; he is happiest who wisely turns them to the best account.

Angry SMS: 52
It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.

Angry SMS: 53
I have to be honest with myself. I think I am going to get booed badly. I am very well aware that some fans are very angry.

Angry SMS: 54
It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry.

Angry SMS: 55
Do something that makes a difference - because, by God, there's a lot to make you angry.

Angry SMS: 56
I would rather players get angry when they're dropped than take it lying down.

Angry SMS: 57
An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason.

Angry SMS: 58
When a man sends you an impudent letter, sit right down and give it back to him with interest ten times compounded, and then throw both letters in the wastebasket.

Angry SMS: 59
The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.

Angry SMS: 60
Anger is a bad counselor.

Top Angry SMS Collection 2

Angry SMS: 21
Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?

Angry SMS: 22
Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride?

Angry SMS: 23
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Angry SMS: 24
Forest king Virappan died last week. In his memory let us all switch off our mobiles for 2 mins. Plz forward this to all local criminals, as I did.

Angry SMS: 25
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...

Angry SMS: 26
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything you are not...

Angry SMS: 27
I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

Angry SMS: 28
You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

Angry SMS: 29
Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...

Angry SMS: 30
U r Ultimate
U r Lovely
U r Likable
U r Unique
In short ......
U r ULLU !!!

Angry SMS: 31
Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty..so the world needs YOU after all!

Angry SMS: 32
Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop

Angry SMS: 33
I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works

Angry SMS: 34
He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words

Angry SMS: 35
Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing

Angry SMS: 36
Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

Angry SMS: 37
Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.

Angry SMS: 38
You=lovely
You=perfect
You=beautiful
You=amazing
You=sweet
You=cute
You=genius
You=fantastic
You=fabulous
Me=liar

Angry SMS: 39
Have you ever been to the moon ? no ! sit on my rocket and I will take you there .

Angry SMS: 40
Hello,
U R So,
art!
S art!
m
s art!
m
s art!
s artm!
ms art!
ms art!
ms art!
ms art!
SORRY,
this doesn't fit u..

Top Angry SMS Collection 1

Angry SMS: 01
A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, "You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!" Tryinghis best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, "Take it easy Dear, Can't you see I'm trying to taper off?"

Angry SMS: 02
The angry wife met her husband at the door. His breath stunk ofalcohol and his face was plastered with lipstick. "I assume," shebarked, "there is a very good reason for you to come drifting inat six o'clock in the morning?" "There is!" he replied, "Breakfast."

Angry SMS: 03
Never get angry. Never make a threat. Reason with people.

Angry SMS: 04
Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.

Angry SMS: 05
Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.

Angry SMS: 06
Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.

Angry SMS: 07
Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last.

Angry SMS: 08
If you would cure anger, do not feed it. Say to yourself: 'I used to be angry every day; then every other day; now only every third or fourth day.' When you reach thirty days offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the gods.

Angry SMS: 09
If you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit; give it nothing which may tend to its increase.

Angry SMS: 10
do u remember ur childhood? wen u went to a toy shop nd asked shopkeper-Ancle hw much cost of dat monkey?...nd shop keper rply-that is a mirror my child..

Angry SMS: 11
Love+ship=Titanic
Dinosar+Forest=Jurasic park
Arnold+Gun=Terminator
U+ur smile=The mummy returns

Angry SMS: 12
This Century Is Truly LIFELESS:
Communication: WIRELESS
Cooking:FIRELESS
Youth:JOBLESS
This Msg: MEANINGLESS
Sender:PRICELESS
Reader:USELESS

Angry SMS: 13
Ill ask a que U should answer only by saying yes or no.Here is the que... Do ur parents know that u r a mental patient???

Angry SMS: 14
Plz Dont Neglect This
Msg

A Poor Boy
Suffering Frm Mental
Disorder Needs Shock
Treatment
Plz Send Ur Photo
So That
He Gets The
PROPER SHOCK

Angry SMS: 15
A Bf Brought Present 4 His GF
GF(After Opening)
What D Hell Wud I Do Wid Dis Diwali Rocket ?
BF : U Wanted Stars Na?
Now Sit On It N Get Lost!!

Angry SMS: 16
Superman is Flying
Spiderman is Jumping
Batman is Running
Hitman is Fighting
Gentleman is Sending SMS
Douberman is reading SMS
HaHaha.

Angry SMS: 17
Ha
HaHa
HaHaHa
HaHaHaHa
HaHaHaHaHa
HaHaHaHaHaHa

Nothing,
I suddenly remembered ur face..?
Oh my god..?
Wat a funny creation..

Angry SMS: 18
You=lovely
You=perfect
You=beautiful
You=amazing
You=sweet
You=cute
You=genius
You=fantastic
You=fabulous
Me=liar

Angry SMS: 19
Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

Angry SMS: 20
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

All time hits Apology SMS 5

81. Wish I could turn back the time
and make things right…
Please forgive me!

82. As I feel the tear go down my cheek,
I notice that my heart is weak,
For the love I have for you,
Will always be gold and true,
I have made some mistakes, they rest in the past,

83. How can I begin 2 say I`m sorry.
I dint mean 2 upset u.
I hope tht u can 4gve me

84. I'm really "beary" sorry

85. FMP
FMP
FMP
FMP
FMP
FMP
FMP
forgive me please!

86. I'm really
really really really
sorry
please forgive me!

87. I know I've hurt you
I wish I could undo
what I did
I'm really really sorry!

88. I was insensitive!
please forgive me

89. I'm so sorry for hurting your feelings
I take back my words
hope you'll forgive me

90. Im sorry to be smiling every time youre near. Im sorry my eyes twinkle whenever youre here. Im sorry that cupid has made his hit. Im sorry I love you, I cant help it.

91. 4give You Again ???
For All The Times u Made Me Cry??
For All The Things u Said About Me?
For All The Crap u Started?
For Stabing Me In The Back??
No I Wont 4give u ,
Not This Time

92. I have commited a sin to make u sad,
and am realising that im very bad,
so, plz forgive me to lessen the grief,
ur forgiveness will led 2 a relief,
Gorgive me Please

93. Im sorry 2 b smyling every time u r near.
Im sorry my eyez twinkle when ever u r here.
Im sorry dat cupid has made hiz hit.
Im sorry i love yu,
I cant help it.

94. I Know How Angry u r ...
&
Wat u Must B Going Through
So i Hope , u Know
How Sorry I m 4 All
That Happens Between Us ...
Please Forgive Me

95. How can I begin to say I`m sorry.
I didn’t mean to upset you.
I hope that you can forgive me.I’m sorry.

96. You are the twinkle of my eyes;
The smile on my lips;
The joy of my face;
Without you I am incomplete.
Relationship doesn’t get closer by meetings
but it is sweetend by THOUGHTS.

97. I Know How Angry You Are …
&
What You Must Be Going Through
So i Hope , You Know
How Sorry I Am For All
That Happens Between Us …
Please Forgive Me

98. How can I begin to say I am sorry.
I didn’t mean to upset you.
I hope that you can forgive me.
I am sorry.

99. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!

100. Forgive Me

All time hits Apology SMS 4

61. Of all the friends
i’ve ever met
you’re the one
I won’t forget
if I die before you do
I’ll go to Heaven & wait for you.
God alone knows
when I depart,
so I’m letting you know
you’re Special in my Heart.

62. I am sorry for blaming you..
For everything I just couldnt do,
And I have hurt myself by hurting you,
There is nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again,
Sometimes, I want to call you, but I know you won't be there!
I am really sorry

63. Remember the good times we had spent together?
And the beautiful future we had dreamy of..
Darling I never wanted to create a distance between us,
Please let us bridge the gaps..

64. As I feel the tear go down my cheek,
I notice that my heart is weak,
For the love I have for you,
Will always be gold and true,
I have made some mistakes, they rest in the past,
But know my love will always last,
Even though we are a distance apart,
You always have the key to my heart.

65. In friendship,
words can go unspoken,
yet be understood.
That’s why I am sure
that though I don’t say it often,
you know how much i value you.
Take care

66. As I feel the tear
go down my cheek,
I notice that my heart is weak,
For the love I have for you,
Will always be gold and true,
I have made some mistakes,
they rot in the past,
But I know my love
will always last,
Even though we are
a distance apart,
You will always
have the key to my heart.

67. I'm sorry for blaming you...
For everything I just couldn't do…
And I've hurt myself by hurting you…
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again…
Sometimes, I want to call you, but I know you won't be there…
It's hard to say goodbye when i

68. Remember the good times we had spent together, and the beautiful future we had dreamy of...
Darling I never wanted to create a distance between us...
Please let us bridge the gaps...

69. Appologising doesn't mean that you are wrong and the other is right. It only means that you value the relationship much more than your ego.

70. Appologising doesn't mean that you are wrong and the other is right. It only means that you value the relationship much more than your ego.

71. Apology is a lovely perfume;it can turn d clumsiest moment in2 a gracious gift!

72. As I feel the tear go down my cheek,
I notice that my heart is weak,
For the love I have for you,
Will always be gold and true,
I have made some mistakes, they rest in the past,

73. Appologising doesn't mean that you are wrong and the other is right. It only means that you value the relationship much more than your ego...!!!

74. Apology is a lovely perfume,
It can transform the clumsiest
moment into a gracious gift.
Please forgive me!

75. I have committed a sin to make u sad
And am realising that I'm very bad
So plz forgive me to lessen the grief
Your forgiveness will led to a relief
I'm sorry

76. Remember d good times we spent together
D beautiful future we dreamt of
I never wanted to create a distance between us
Please forgive me n help me bridge d gap

77. I hurt you…
But I didn’t mean to…
Please forgive me!

78. I’m so sorry for hurting your feelings
I take back my words!
Hope you’ll forgive me!

79. I know I’ve hurt you…
I didn’t mean to.
I am soooooooooo sorry…
Please forgive me!

80. I’m sorry.
I’m really, really, really Sorry!
Please forgive me!

All time hits Apology SMS 3

41. I"m sorry to be smiling every time you"re near. I"m sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you"re here. I"m sorry that cupid has made his hit. I"m sorry I love you, I can"t help it.

42. anytime you are angry that breaks my heart
but my heart will never stop to love you............
sorry for that

43. SORRY.... SORRY.... SORRY.....SORRY....
Dont get confused ,Arey Baba SORRY means:

S-Some,
O-One
Is,R-Really,
R-Rememberinhg
Y-You.....Have A wonderful day....

44. In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry.

45. An apology is a good way to have the last word.

46. A stiff apology is a second insult.... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.

47. An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.

48. Apologizing - a very desperate habit - one that is rarely cured. Apology is only egotism wrong side out.

49. It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

50. True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive.

51. It's easier to apologize than ask for permission.

52. Never make a defense or an apology until you are accused.

53. The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology.

54. The only good thing about punctuality is that it usually gets you an apology.

55. Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift.

56. I’m sorry.
I’m really, really, really Sorry!
Please forgive me!

57. Thought 4 the day
I cried when I had no shoes. Suddenly I stopped crying when i saw a man without leg.
Life is full of Blessings sometime we don't understand it.
GUD MORNING

58. What will this day hold
As i blindly venture in
Itll only hold what i allow
So with positive thoughts lets begin
Good Morning!
59. U should be either in a part ...

U should be either in a part of problem or
U should be either in a part of solution
So start u r day in ur own style..
Good Morning

60. Eyes are not meant for tears and heart is not meant for fear,
Never get upset but always cheer
Bcoz you are the one who can make people smile for years.
Good morning

All time hits Apology SMS 2

20. What's done is done
Make room for the new
Forgive and forget
What has been done to you.

21. It takes a second to make a mistake,
but a lifetime to
try and forget it
was your fault.

22. If you aren't willing to forgive someone,
then you don't truly love them.

23. Forgiveness is a sign that the
person who has wronged
you means more to you
than the wrong they have dealt.

24. I forgave your broken promises,
I forgave you from the start.
But one thing I won't forgive,
Is your breaking of my heart.

25. I don't forgive people cause I'm weak
I forgive them cause I'm strong enough
to understand people make mistakes.

26. Always forgive your
E N E M I E S
Nothing
A N N O Y S
them so much.

27. Understand that no matter
how many times you say
you're sorry
it wont wash away all the pain
and hurt you caused
and the tears you made me cry.

28. It takes a strong person
to say sorry.
And an ever stronger
person to forgive.

29. I have learned that sometimes
"S O R R Y"
is not enough.
Sometimes you actually have to change.

30. You said you never
wanted to see
me hurt.
Did you close your
eyes then
when I cried?

31. The Weak Can Never Forgive.
F o r g i v e n e s s
Is The Attribute
Of The
S t r o n g.

32. The stupid neither forgive nor forget;
the naïve forgive and forget;
the wise forgive but do not forget.

33. I feel sorry for the man who marries you...
because everyone
thinks you're
sweet and you're not.

34. I felt ashamed for what I had done.
I don't have any excuses.
I did what I did.
I take full responsibility for myself and my actions.
I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody.
I'm sorry it happened.
And I hurt people.

35. Forgiveness
is the
sweetest
R E V E N G E

36. I Know How Angry You Are ...
&
What You Must Be Going Through
So i Hope , You Know
How Sorry I Am For All
That Happens Between Us ...
Please Forgive Me

37. I Don't Know Quite
How To Make Things Better Between Us
I Can Start By Saying
I'm Sorry
I Really Am ...

38. SORRY ... !!!
Say
Onetime 2 any1
Really
Remembering
You ...

39. How can I begin to say I`m sorry.
I didn’t mean to upset you.
I hope that you can forgive me.I’m sorry.

40. SORRY
S
O
R
R
Y
S
O
R
R
Y
SORRY
Dont get confused, arey baba 'SORRY' means
S - SOME
O - ONE'S
R - REALLY,
R - REMEMBERING
Y - YOU.

All time hits Apology SMS 1

1. SORRY… SORRY… SORRY…SORRY…
Don’t get confused ,Arey Baba SORRY means:
S-Some,
O-One Is,
R-Really,
R-Remembering
Y-You…..
Have A wonderful day….

2. I’m sorry to be smiling every time you’re near.
I’m sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you’re here.
I’m sorry that cupid has made his hit.
I’m sorry i love you,
I can’t help it.

3. How can I begin to say I`m sorry.
I didn’t mean to upset you.
I hope that you can forgive me.I’m sorry.

4. I hurt you…
But I didn’t mean to…
Please forgive me!

5. I’m so sorry for hurting your feelings
I take back my words!
Hope you’ll forgive me!

6. I know I’ve hurt you…
I didn’t mean to.
I am soooooooooo sorry…
Please forgive me!

7. I’m sorry.
I’m really, really, really Sorry!
Please forgive me!

8. Wish I could turn back the time
and make things right…
Please forgive me!

9. im sorry baby,, i believe u'll run & come to me & i'll open my hand @ hug u i'll wait for u till end of my life

10. If You Ask Me How Many Times
My Heart Has Been Broken,
Then I Ask You To Look Up
At The Sky One Night,
And Count The Stars.

11. 4give You Again ???
For All The Times You Made Me Cry??
For All The Things You Said About Me?
For All The Crap You Started?
For Stabing Me In The Back??
No I Wont 4give You ,
Not This Time

12. G O O D B Y E
Is
Easier
Then
Admitting
I
Was
W r o n g.

13. Forgive Sounds Good
Forget Im Not Sure I Could
They Say Time Heals Everything
But Im Still Waiting

14. Sorry May Have Become
"Just Another Word",
But With
T E A R S
It Means The World.

15.


I

Can

Forgive

You

For

Hurting

Me,

But I Can

Never

Forget!!



16. Refusing To Forgive Someone
Is Like Drinking Poison,
And Waiting For
The Other Person To Die.

17. "You Should Forgive Me,
And Do You Know Why?
Because I Can't Stand The Thought
Of You Hurting Because
Of Someone Like Me,
And The Only Way You'll Ever Stop Being Hurt
By Me,

Is If You Stop Hating Me
So You Can Just Forget That
I Ever Even Existed."

18. Dont You Hate It
When They Do Something Hurtful
And Then They Say Sorry
And Expect
Everything Will Be Ok

19. Why Do I Always Forgive You?
I Let You Call Me So Many Names,
I Let You Treat Me Like Dirt,
Yet I'm Still Your Friend.
Am I Stupid?
Or Am I A
Good Friend?

Free Flirt sms latest ever 5

Sms NO: 81
Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT

Sms NO: 82
I need you... I love you... I can't go anywhere without you... Oh my lovely... SHOES !

Sms NO: 83
in day i miss u
at night i miss u
in morning i miss u
i miss u every moment
i miss u every second
i miss u alot.......
my stolen chappal i really miss u

Sms NO: 84
R u mad?
Y r u reading me?
There is nothing in me.
Just stop it, u r wasting ur time.
I think u will never stop reading me.
OK
Read me now

Sms NO: 85
Press down
again
again.. please
once more
sorry again
6 times more
Oh! Again
1 Time again
don't u have any job

Sms NO: 86
Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.

Sms NO: 87
It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

Sms NO: 88
U know last week,I visited my friend in China & they thought I'm joking when I say in South Africa there are Monkey's,so will tou plz borrow me ur photographs so that I can show them when I visit again?

Sms NO: 89
God knows d value of HEART,so he created LUV....He knows d value of NIGHT,so he created DREAMS...He knows d value of FREINDS,so he created MEEEEE...

Sms NO: 90
want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream

Sms NO: 91
Winter comes again n again, Summer comes again n again, But the person like you will not come again, Because GOD never makes the same mistake again n again...

Sms NO: 92
Think well,
Plan well,
Do well,
Sleep well,
Play well,
Laugh well and
Put ur mobile also into well, Bcoz ur not Messaging me Well

Sms NO: 93
Birds love you,
Monkeys love you,
Hippos love you,
Snakes love you,
Tortoise love you,
Giraffe loves you.....
Please go back to ZOO,
They all really miss you.

Sms NO: 94
Life is pretty much unpredictable. I may not live long enough but I won't miss out letting you know that life is worth living with someone like you around.

Sms NO: 95
Having a good laugh with a friend like you stimulates endorphins, the brain’s natural painkillers. So, if you need to laugh and you can’t find a friend like yourself, I can lend you my mirror.

Sms NO: 96
A smile is the best lighting system of the face, the best cooling system of the head, and the best warming system of the heart. Keep smiling! =)

Sms NO: 97
It takes a strong heart to love. It takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it has been hurt...

Sms NO: 98
Always be Happy, always wear a smile;
Not because life is full of reasons to smile but because ur smile itself is a reason for many others to smile...

Sms NO: 99
One who somes, has a SMOKY heart,
One who drinks, has an ALCOHOLIC heart...
So dear U must STOP eating SWEETS...
as u r already a SWEETEHART!**

Sms NO: 100
Loading the Babe meter.....


5%


17%


26%


57%


78%


99%


100% COMPLETE

Processing data..

ANALYSIS COMPLETE
U R A 100%
Gorgeous Babe

Free Flirt sms latest ever 4

Sms NO: 61
QUESTION:
What's pink and hard when it goes in... and soft and wet when it comes out?
ANSWER:
Bubblegum

Sms NO: 62
If we join one pipal with other pipal with the help of a wire.what will we call it ?
Guess

Sms NO: 63
puppy dog asked to mummy dog: Mummy who is my Father.Mummy: Baby, keep silence, don't disturb your Father, he is reading this SMS now.

Sms NO: 64
A - U r Attractive
B - U r the Best
C - U r Cute
D - U r Dear 2 Me
E - U r Excellent
F - U r Funny
G - U r Good-Looking
H - hehehe
I - I'm
J - JOKING

Sms NO: 65
I Want You To Be with Me
In a Nice Restaurant
To Have Candle Light Dinner...&
Say Those Sweet
Three Words To U...
"Pay The Bill

Sms NO: 66
THE QUESTIOS:
How many Times Did u Press The Button

Sms NO: 67
MY EYES MISS U
MY FELLINGS LOVE U
MY HANDS NEED U
MY MIND CALL U
MY HEART JUST 4 U
MY LIFE IS U
I WILL DIE WITHOUT U
I LOVE U

Sms NO: 68
Good looks catch the eyes,
but Good Personality catches the heart.
You are blessed with both!
FLATTERED???
Don't Be!!! It was sent to ME, and I just wanted you to read it...

Sms NO: 69
Open My Heart
Get Inside
If You Found SomeElse Inside My Heart
Just Say Hi And Sit Down With Him Squall

Sms NO: 70
Earth may stop Rotating,
Birds may stop Flying,
Candles may stop Melting,
Fishes may stop Swimming,
Heart may stop Beating,
But your Brain will
never start working!

Sms NO: 71
Sorry 4 disturbing u.
can u fax me ur photo,
its very urgent,
serious matter has
comeup actually,
we r playing cards
and I lost the joker

Sms NO: 72
1 msg received...
1 cool person sent it...
1 fool is reading it...
1 fool gets mad...
1 fool is still reading it...
1 fool will forward this message to another fool!!

Sms NO: 73
I Love "u" , I Love "u" , I Love "u" , I Love "u", I Love "u",
Hey ! Dont get excited I love other alphabet too...... v,w,x,y,z!!!

Sms NO: 74
Only the open heart receives
LOVE
Only the open mind receives
WISDOM
Only the open hand receives
GIFTS
and...
Only the CUTE 1's receive
MESSAGES From ME! Shafqat

Sms NO: 75
I want to kiss ur lips
I want to smell ur breath
I want to touch ur tunk
I want to touch ur teeth
But u dun worry
I m ur friend dentonic!!

Sms NO: 76
baby u are the bomb surely your father iz da terrorist,your smile destroys mi surely your mom iz da tsunami!!!!!!!!

Sms NO: 77
so sweet is ur smile,so sweet r ur eyes,so sweet is ur voice................see how sweet r my lies

Sms NO: 78
Police is looking for someone described as gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, funny &amazing peoson, Ur safe. But where the HELL am I gonna HIDE

Sms NO: 79
some call me funny,some one call me sunny ,someone call me honey what about u dont plz dont call me with any name coz ur already buxbuney!!!! now shut up !!!!!!!!!!

Sms NO: 80
U r so sexy u drive me insane.i luv u so much dat my heart is in pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber.oh damn im sorry i have the wrong number mk

Free Flirt sms latest ever 3

Sms NO: 41
Found!
Loading....
|||
10%
||||||
30%
|||||||||||||||
100%
Done!
You Are
SUCCESSFULLY
LOADED IN MY HEART..

Sms NO: 42
i saw sum thing in da shop window today. it was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable. i was supposed to buy it for u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION

Sms NO: 43
Someone told me dat u r no. 1 flirt. Is dat true
F- FRIENDLY
L- LOVELYFUL
I - INTELLIGENT
R - ROMANTIC
T - TRUTHFUL
SO KEEP ON FLIRTING

Sms NO: 44
say e
say ee
say eee
say eeee
say eeeee
say eeeeee
very good
now go & brush ur teeth.. gud day

Sms NO: 45
God made butter, god made cheese; god made you for me to squeeze.
God made whiskey, god made Pepsi and when he made you he made you SEXY!

Sms NO: 46
so sweet u r
so sweet your smile
so sweet your eyes
so sweet your style
see how sweetly i lie

Sms NO: 47
I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creating creamy fomy liquid, as it trust in and out up & down, cant wait till nxt time my tooth Brush

Sms NO: 48
I ask god a Flower ,he give me agarden. i ask a tree, he give me a Forest. iask a lake , he gave me An ocean, I ask a Angel, he gave me U

Sms NO: 49
R u Male or Female ???
Wants to know the answer...
Then see down . . . .
Not here u fooooooool...

Sms NO: 50
Today, tommorow and yesterday there will be one heart that would always beat for you You know Whose??? your Own Stupid!!!

Sms NO: 51
Those innocent eyes, those kissable lips, a great smile the perfect walk, smoothest talk, absolute gorgeous, thts enough bout me... how r u ?

Sms NO: 52
There r 6 types eggs. Chicken egg = ji dan, Duck egg = ya dan, Bomb = zha dan, Person readin dis = hun dan, if u r smilin nw = chun dan & if angry = ben dan

Sms NO: 53
Each morning..............
My first thought
My first sight
My first feeling
My first contact
my first heartthrob
My first real joy
my first true love

Sms NO: 54
????? is ???????
still scrolling?
o'k i'll tell u
u sure u want 2

Sms NO: 55
Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room"
And the grand prize is a night with me!

Sms NO: 56
Flowers die
stories end
Songs fade
Memories Ragotten
All things come to End
But..........
People like U always remain 4rever
Bcz
GHOST NEVER DIE
Sms NO: 57
I'm tired of da security guard interogatin me abt da monkey dat escaped from da zoo. I think u better hide!

Sms NO: 58
hey i saw u in TV... how smart u r ... how sweet u r ... how lovely u r ... but i dont know y u r comilg only in animal planet chanel...

Sms NO: 59
you"
yes you
u really disspointed me
i trusted u so much but UR big mouth is never SHUT
why don't u stop telling others my secret?
that
I M CUTE !!

Sms NO: 60
Those Sparkling Eyes
That Amazing Face
A 100watt smile
The Enthu Stride
The Cheerful Talk
Charming stud
I'm still The same
hw r u?...wts up?

Free Flirt sms latest ever 2

Sms NO: 21
six rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR FRIEND
bilal

Sms NO: 22
My Eyes
DETECTED
My Heart
REACTED
Thousands were
REJECTED
& only u were
SELECTED
bcoz i need a monkey 4 an advertisment

Sms NO: 23
You've got Sex Appeal... You've got Style... You've got Intelligence... You've got Class... You've got D Face... & You've got D Body... & I've got the wrong number! Sorry!

Sms NO: 24
(((((( ))))))
(((( @) (@ ))))
(((((; <._.> ;)))))
((((((,__ ,))))))

Sms NO: 25
don't be afraid......
Sometimes mob work as mirror

Sms NO: 26
PRACTICE AT UR HOME
1.Take one grape
2.Take it in ur hand
3.Put it in btvn ur fore teeth
4.Approach the mirror slowly & see.

Sms NO: 27
SHUTUP!
S= SURPRISES 4 U
H= HAPPINESS 4 U
U= UNLIMITED LOVE 4 U
T= TRUE PASSION 4 U
U= U ALWAYZ INMY MIND
P= PRAYING 4 U
SO AGAIN
SHUTUP!!

Sms NO: 28
VACANCY ANNOUNCEMENT:
r u handsome ?
r u good looking ?
r u trained ?
r u hardworking ?
looking for a job ?
then.................
apply now;
we need the services of a ~MONKEY~ for the zoo.

Sms NO: 29
Hey,
I, Dont Need Ur Attitude
BCoz
I, Have One Of My Own
Sms NO: 30
In the late night,on the full moon day, i
stopped my car and went close to her ears, she felt
shyness.i went to say those words but i
thought she wont believe it. Finally i told
her those "3 words"

Sms NO: 31
Yesterday whole night i
was thinkin abt only U
Now i'm
thinking of "V".
Tonight i'll definitly
think abt w,x,y and z

Sms NO: 32
close ur eyes
umm.haa
muhaa...
ok..
satisfied now open ur eyes..
;****;
x( @..@ )x
"(--)" MAZA AYA ? U kissed a Monkey

Sms NO: 33
Red Rose: Luv
Yelloe Rose: Friendship
White Rose: Peace
Which Rose for u?

Sms NO: 34
EYES: to look at u.
HAND: to pray for u.
MIND: to remember u.
HEART: to make friendship with u.
and
LEG: to kick u if u forget me....
So alkways remeber me!!!

Sms NO: 35
good morning.......
have u done 2 of thae most important things when u woke up today????
1) pray , so that u may live long
2) take a bath so that other can live long.....

Sms NO: 36
no visits..........
no calls...........
no missed calls........
no sms's............
no mails...............
no chat............
i m worried..........u r in jail again???

Sms NO: 37
Hi sweetheart,
Doing nothing?
Then make aplace 4 me in ur Heart!
I may come there any time!
Ur's faithfully
"HEART ATTACK!"

Sms NO: 38
Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night after
sucking ur blood

Sms NO: 39

1-5 years girls
love MOM
6-15 years girls
love DAD
16-30 years girls love ME 30-60 years they love HUSBAND
61-100 years they love..

Sms NO: 40
After engagement : Superman
After Marriage : Gentleman
After 10 years : Watchman
After 20 years : Doberman

Free Flirt sms latest ever 1

Sms NO: 01
the best quality i like in u is that ..............u r very sentimental
1% senti
99% mental...............

Sms NO: 02
SORRY.... SORRY.... SORRY.....SORRY....Dont get confused ,Actually SORRY means: S-Some,O-One Is,R-Really,R-Rememberinhg Y-You.....Have A wonderful day..

Sms NO: 03
I am a dog and u r a flower,
so let me lift my leg n give u a shower!

Sms NO: 04
u r a donkey
d 4 decent
o 4 outclass
n 4 nice
k 4 kind
e 4 excelent
y 4 young

Sms NO: 05
Those Sparkling Eyes
That Amazing Face
A 100watt smile
The Enthu Stride
The Cheerful Talk
Charming stud
I'm still The same
hw r u?...wts up?

Sms NO: 05
if i need "Brain Transplantation" i will perfer your brain...
dont think that you are a genious.......... i need a brain which is never used before


Sms NO: 06
Let the most beautiful dream come to u tonight,Let the sweetest person come in ur dream tonight.... But dont make it a habit bcoz I m not free every night..

Sms NO: 07
i belive u so much. i trusted u so much. but u told my secret to every one. why did u told every one that i am so beautiful.

Sms NO: 08
Can v do romance in the evening today?
I'm in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
Reply me soon
urs lovingly,
"MOSQUITO"

Sms NO: 09
just go to hell
yes you
u only !
because only you can change hell into heaven by your sweetness.

Sms NO: 10
I want to kill the
SWEETEST,
SMARTEST,
CHARMING,
ATTRACTIVE &
GOOD LOOKING Person on earth,
but then I thought my friend ....
SUCIDE is a crime.


Sms NO: 11
Warning, cell phones cause radiations which results in brain damage, but u r safe, it only affects people with brain. How lucky u r, no brain, no tension

Sms NO: 12
If u want SUCCESS in life; be Sweet as Honey,be Regular as Clock,be Fresh as Rose,be Soft as Tissue, be Strong as Rock,be Sure as Death,and....be Smart as ME.qwq

Sms NO: 13
Life is like a MOVIE...
If u r sad - DRAMA
If u r afraid - SUSPENSE
If u r angry - ACTION
When u Luk at the mirror - HORROR
Now u r smilling - that's COMEDY

Sms NO: 14
How 2 grow up a baby 2 make it absolutly charming,
smart, good looking, cute, funny, truthful & an
extremly intelligent kid ???
Ask my parents...!

Sms NO: 15
Whn cloud breaks, rain falls! Whn coconut breaks, water falls!Whn luv breaks tears falls!But whn ur head break Cowdung falls !

Sms NO: 16
Q: to make it straight she pulls it, to make it stand she rubs it, to make it stiff she licks it, to let it in she pushes it. what is she doing? a: threading a needle

Sms NO: 17
Good person? thats you Good mate? Its you again Good taste? Corse its you Good friend? Its also you Good looking nah get lost thats me .

Sms NO: 18
GARAHAMBEL
invnted
telefon
EDISON
invnted
elctricbulb
MARCONI
invnted
radio
COLUMBOS
discoverd
America
U discovered my Cell NO

Sms NO: 19
Your smile is amazing... you know your smile kills the people.... So please save the world.......
and
Brush your teeth....
regularly!....

Sms NO: 20
I'd climd the highest mountain.I'd swim the ocean blue I'd do anything at all my dear- Just to get away from you.zed

top free Foolish SMS 5

81. When a store is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why is there a lock on the door ?

82. Why is a false eye made of glass?.....To look through.

83. When you are not supposed to drive a car when you have been drinking, why do bars have a parking lot ?

84. Why does beer contain female hormones ? ... When you drink too much of it, you cannot say anything sensible any more, you start to nag and you are no longer able to drive a car.

85. How is an intelligent woman called? ....................... A transvestite

86. It has 50 teeth and it holds back or stops a terrible monster? ................... My fly!

87. Why are men like snails? ..... They have horns, they slobber and they trudge along, and above all, they think the house is theirs.

88. What happens when a man is in the water up till his navel ? ...... That is beyond his comprehension.

89. The ressemblance of a man and a cup of coffee? ..... They both get on the nerve.

90. If a pen is mightier than a sword and a photo more powerful than a thousand words, how dangerous –can a fax be ?

91. What happens when you got scared twice half-dead ?

92. When a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide are we talking of hostageship?

93. What is the velocity of the darkness ?

94. Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have a phone!

95. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

96. What is ressemblance between a man and a dolphin? They both seem intelligent, but it has not been proven yet!!!

97. When swimming is good for the development of our arms and legs, why do fish not have arms and legs ?

98. How does the driver of a gritting vehicle go to work in the morning ?

99. Why do women have legs ? ...... Otherwise there will be traces of mucus on the kitchen floor.

100. The more you study. Tthe more you know. The more you know. The more you forget. The more you forget. The less you know. So why study?

top free Foolish SMS 4

61. True love is like an pillow, u can hug when you are in trouble, you can cry when you are in pain & u can embrace when you are happy. So when u need true love spend 100 bucks and buy a pillow.

62. Hey get ready, my marriage is fixed.



Its on 1st of April. Surprised?



Stupid, 1st april is April fool, and u r the 1st person whom I fooled.

63. If you are in tension,
If nothing seems right,
If u find no way out,
Then just think of me only once,
I will be always there to INCREASE your tensions.

64. When u feel lonly n alone & canot see any 1 around u,the wrld seems 2 b fading away,com along wit me I'l tak u to an eye specialist.

65. If u save this msg, it means I'm cute. If u edit this, I'm still cute. If u fwd this, u r spreading that i'm cute & if u erase
this, u r jealous of me coz i'm cute!

66. Last night I Got a severe Head pain...
I went to the Doctor ...
He said that It would be cured If I send a SMS TO some lunatic person...

" Tell me,Whom do I know other than you.?"

67. If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything, I’ll come, hold ur hand, take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.

68. Read each word reversely: A SUOMAF ROTCOD DLOT EM TAHT YLNO LATNEM STNEITAP EVAH EHT TNELAT OT DAER SMS NEVENEHW STI NETTIRW YLESREVER.

69. Count S in SIHT SI WOH OT EKAM A DIPUTS YSUB

(hint-

it should be 5)



Read caps word reversely.

70. The time since I have met u, i have realized that a friend like you is worth million dollars...
So, if u dont mind......

Can I sell you?

71. So Sweet is ur SMILE???
so Sweet is ur STYLE???
so Sweet is ur VOICE???
so Sweet is ur EYE?????
see .......how Sweetly I LIE.

72. I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel
you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream.

73. FATHER: How Are Your Grades, Son?
SON: Under Water, Dad.
FATHER: Under Water? What Do You Mean?
SON: They"Re Below C Level

74. All ways keep your LOVER"S photo in your purse.when ever you are in big trouble see the photo.you will feel that No other problem bigger than this...

75. U R the one who is CHARMING
U R the one who is INTELLIGENT
U R the one who is CUTE
and I am the One who is spreading these RUMOURS

76. Fact1: You can not touch your lower lip with your tounge...



Fact2: After reading this, 99/100 idiots would try it..

77. YOU R ROSE 4 all TREES
YOU R SMILE 4 all FACES
YOU R WATER FALLS 4 all HILLS
&
YOU R BROHTER 4 all GIRLS .

78. Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

79. A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

80. What do you do when your mother-in-law is walking in the garden? ...... Shoot again.

top free Foolish SMS 3

41. Our wisdom comes from our experience, and our experience comes from our foolishness.

42. It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly.

43. WARNING ! ! !

This is a VIRUS . . .


When you turn your phone off it WON'T WORK AGAIN


44. Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then Make a Place,
4 Me in ur Heart!!
I May come there any time!
Ur's Faithfully,
"HeArT aTtAcK"

45. I want U to know that U are very important to me, It's impossible for me to live without U even 4 a second! U r my life & I can feel U everywhere.... DON'T MIND I WAS TALKING ABOUT OXYGEN...

46. You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!

Just a second, don't misunderstand.
CUTE means:
Creating
Useless
Troubles
Everywhere..

47. You are equal to sixty james bond!
How??
007 * 60 = 420

48. U R the one who is CHARMING
U R the one who is INTELLIGENT
U R the one who is CUTE
and I am the One who is spreading these RUMOURS.

49. So Sweet is ur SMILE???
so Sweet is ur STYLE???
so Sweet is ur VOICE???
so Sweet is ur EYE?????
see .......how Sweetly I LIE.

50. For pepsi "shahrukh"
For coke "aamir"
For mirinda "vivek"
For fanta "rani"
& For Thums Up "Akshay"
Don't worry
For Bante wala soda "You"
Cheers !!!

51. I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream.

52. Last night I Got a severe Head pain...
I went to the Doctor ...
He said that It would be cured If I send a SMS TO some lunatic person...

" Tell me,Whom do I know other than you.?"


53. Today, tommorow and forever there will be one heart that would always beat for you.
You know Whose???
Your Own Stupid!!!

54. Roses are Red
Sky is Blue

My Bitch is Pregnant
Thanks to You....

55. Read each word reversely: A SUOMAF ROTCOD DLOT EM TAHT YLNO LATNEM STNEITAP EVAH EHT TNELAT OT DAER SMS NEVENEHW STI NETTIRW YLESREVER.

56. When are you going to marry me? I can live without you. I love you dear, marry me within this month otherwise i will die.
See, how Aishwarya Rai messaged me! Silly girl.

57. Feeling bored?
Wondering, what to do?
Open the zip!
Enter your hands in between your zip..
take out your...

book from your bag and study..

58. When ur life is in darkness pray 2 God ask him 2 free u 4rm darkness & after if u pray &ur still in darkness , pls pay ur
ELECTRICITY BILL

59. All ways keep your LOVER'S photo in your purse.when ever you are in big trouble see the photo.you will feel that No other problem bigger than this...

60. The time since I have met u, i have realized that a friend like you is worth million dollars...
So, if u dont mind......

Can I sell you?

top free Foolish SMS 2

21. A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool.

22. Wise men learn by other mens mistakes, fools by their own.

23. Young men think old men fools, and old men know young men to be so.

24. For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

25. A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.

26. Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark, or the man afraid of the light?

27. Dont approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side.

28. A fool may be known by six things: anger without cause; speech without profit;
change without progress; inquiry without object; putting trust in a stranger; and
mistaking foes for friends.

29. Every fool finds a greater one to admire them.

30. Silence is the wit of fools.

31. The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

32. If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.

33. Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

34. Nature makes only dumb animals. We owe the fools to society.

35. You don't have to fool all the people all of the time; you just have to fool enough to get elected.

36. The mistakes of the fool are known to the world, but not to himself. The mistakes of the wise man are known to himself, but not to the world.

37. Only a fool knows everything. A wise man knows how little he knows.

38. Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it.

39. Foolproof systems to not take into account the ingenuity of fools.

40. Fools build houses, and wise men buy them.

top free Foolish SMS 1

1. O FOOL you are the most Beautiful, Wonder FOOL & WolorFOOL Among all FOOLS

2. Everything is incomplete without 'me'.
__mory
__lody
co__dy
ti__
ga__
so__thing
__aning
__eting

even the __ssage
So dont 4get 'ME'!!

3. A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS.
Now its 2 late dont try to change ur finger! Catch another fool

4. WARNING ! ! !
This is a VIRUS . . .
When you turn your phone off it WON'T WORK AGAIN

5. This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !... Now read it without the word cat.

6. In your life, when you wake up & don't see any one, then come to me, i'll be there to hold ur hand & take you to the EYE SPECIALIST

7. When the grass was closely mown,
Walking on the lawn alone,
In the turf a hole I found,
And hid a soldier underground.
Spring and daisies came apace;
Grasses hide my hiding place;
Grasses run like a green sea
Oer the lawn up to my knee.

8. Is it so small a thing
To have enjoyed the sun,
To have lived light in the spring,
To have loved, to have thought, to have done?

9. No Winter lasts forever, no Spring skips its turn.
April is a promise that May is bound to keep, and we know it.

10. An altered look about the hills;
A Tyrian light the village fills;
A wider sunrise in the dawn;
A deeper twilight on the lawn;
A print of a vermilion foot;
A purple finger on the slope;
A flippant fly upon the pane;
A spider at his trade again;
An added strut in chanticleer;
A flower expected everywhere ...

11. Beauty is a form of genius - is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It is of the great facts in the world like sunlight, or springtime, or the reflection in dark water of that silver shell we call the moon

12. Sweet spring, full of sweet days and roses,
A box where sweets compacted lie.

13. From some home a jade flute sends dark notes drifting,
Scattering on the spring wind that fills Lo-yang.
Tonight, if we should hear the willow-breaking song,
Who could help but long for the gardens of home?

14. In the landscape of Spring there is neither
better or worse.
The flowering branches grow naturally,
some long, some short.

15. I think that no matter how old or infirm I may become, I will always plant a large garden in the spring.
Who can resist the feelings of hope and joy that one gets from participating in natures rebirth?

16. I sing of brooks, of blossoms, birds, and bowers:
Of April, May, or June, and July flowers.
I sing of Maypoles, Hock-carts, wassails, wakes,
Of bridegrooms, brides, and of the bridal cakes.

17. When the time is ripe for certain things,
these things appear in different places in the manner
of violets coming to light in the early spring.

18. O Day after day we cant help growing older.
Year after year spring cant help seeming younger.
Come lets enjoy our winecup today,
Nor pity the flowers fallen.

19. Lord, what fools these mortals be.

20. The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself a fool.

Free Insult SMS 1

1. You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.

2. Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants

3. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

4. Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride?

5. Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.

6. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

7. He's so full of shit, his eyes are brown

8. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

9. He dips Sparrows in Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.

10. His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.

11. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

12. People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from them

13. He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.

14. We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

15. You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and dodging the issue.

16. As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.

17. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything you are not...

18. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...

19. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lightin

20. Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.

Free Insult SMS 5

80. Your network tariff has changed! Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper! Congrats You can make free calls!

81. Press Down if u think u r MAD.
I can't Believe u Did That!
Again?
For God Sake! LORD!!
Why u Still Doing it?
Truth is out now!
MENTAL CASE!!

82. Cow Elephant Donkey.
-Discussing who is greatest?
Cow.I giv 50 ltres milk a day.
Elephant.I eat 100 bundle's of sugar cane a day.

83. If i need brain transplantation i wil prefer ur brain......... dont think u r genious. I just wanted a brain which is never used before ! !

84. You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast.

85. You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.

86. Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

87. Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

88. There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.

89. If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.

90. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.

91. What's the simularity of math and sex? add the beds, minus the clothes, devide the leggs and multiply.

92. Death is the greatest kick of all.That's why they save it for last!

93. Bedroom golf can make u grin,u need a stick 2 help u win.Keep ur clubs in good condition+neva play wivout permission.Practice often its lotsa fun+try2get a hole in1

94. What's that ugly thing on your neck? OOOH Its your face!

95. HOW DO U KEEP A BLONDE WOMEN BUSY ALL DAY? PUT HER IN A CIRCLE ROOM AT TELL HER TO GO AND SIT IN THE CORNER!

96. We are pleased to tell you your results Your IQ test came back Its Negative!!

97. im ur secret admirer u touch me in all the right places u always no how to turn me on ur lookin at me rite now smilin,who am i? im ur phone u fool

98. How Do U Keep An Idiot Entertained? Press Down Press Up......................

99. yes,god made u first,but there is always a rough draft before the final copy

100. Psst! Cutie yes YOU! Ur smiling again Its coz i told u dat ur CUTE hey Sometimes we need 2 lie Just to make some one SMILE!

Free Insult SMS 4

61. A child monkey asks his mother, "mom, y r we so ugly??" mother replies... " no son, don't say like tht, u should thank God, look at this person reading this message" hahahaha :)

62. Do u know that ur smile takes 1000's of people to death? save the world.
.
.
.
.
.
.
So plz start brushing regularly.

63. A) ur attractive
B) u r buff
C) u r clever
D) u r dashing
E) u r excitin
f) u r funny
g) u r gorgeous
h0 how was that
i) i was
J) just
)k) kidding
l) u r loser
m)man

64. Modern
Obedient
Neatful
Kindful
Excellent
Young



Hey!Thats me.



Dont b sad even ur name is also there,read D 1st LETTER of every word.

65. Diffrence between fate n stupidity: If ur father is poor,then its ur fate,if ur father-in-law is poor,its ur stupidity..!!

66. it iz psycologically proved that all the fools & stupids, donkeys,monkeys,use thier thumb to read messages. dont change your finger now its to late !

67. I'm proud that ur my frnd coz ur
20% Perfect,
20% Attractive,
20% Great,
20% Amazing,
20% Lovable,
in short ur 100% P.A.G.A.L.!!

68. Sometimes my mind asks me..
Why I like U?
Why I wnt 2 c U?
Why I Rem'ber U?
Why U make me laugh?

THEN my HEART answers....
Its simply coz
I LOVE CARTOONS.

69. Flowers dies
Stories ends
Songs fades
Memories r forgotton
All things comes 2 end
But people like u always remain 4ever

Bcz GHOSTS NEVER DIE!

70. Even if we lose contact..
Or even mèét less..
Or even SMS less..
i"ll still remember ur beautiful face!

,****,
( @...@ )
"(--)"

71. What is the similar between "Baygon-spray" & "Body-spray"? If you Use Baygon spray you will die & If you Don't use Body spray others will

72. Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death ? Save The World......... So Plz start brushing regularly

73. Last night few BHOOTS came running to my room saying we want to disturb nice people, i gave them ur address,they said,Oh No!we can't disturb our BOSS

74.

RECIPE:
1. Take a bowl of grapes.
2. Put your hand in it.
3. Stand in front of mirror.

The dish is ready.

RECIPE NAME:
Grpes Soup!!!!!

75. Birds love you, monkeys love you, hippos love you,
snakes love you, tortoise love you, giraffe loves you.....
Please go back to ZOO, they all really miss U!

76. Who Wants 2 B A
£MILLIONAIRE£

Let's play?
Q.Nobody likes you because you are a:


A.Cunt
B.Wanker
C.Rsole
D.Twat

77. today i want to see a lizard....... so that plzzz have a date wid me today hope u will come.

78. Eighty-Five Years virgin dying lady wanted her grave to read"Born Virgin Lived Virgin Died Virgin".The sculptor shortened it to"PARCEL RETURNED UNOPENED"

79. I saw U on ROAD today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My HEART started singing a Sweet Song: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!