41. I 've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years.
42. I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'?
43. Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago.
44. Married Life Joke
Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
45. A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Here's to you, my beautiful bride.
46. Married life has many Ups and Downs...May most of yours be between the sheets!
47. May the best of your past be the worst of your future
48. Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
49. Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
50. Brain is very important part of body,
It is active 24 hours
.
.
365 days,
.
.
it starts working, when you born
and work till you
.
.
.
.
Get Married…
51. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
52. Two Guys Are Chatting..
Guy A: “I’m Going To Bring My Wife To Australia For Our 20th Anniversary.”
Guy B: “Oh.. That’s Cool. What About Ur 25th Anniversary?”
Guy A: “I Will Go Back To Australia To Bring Her Back.”
53. Long after our anniversary
And
this greeting has been thrown away
Think of the thought behind it,
Each and everyday,
Happy Anniversary
54. Marriage is that relation between
man and women in which
the Independence is Equal,
the Dependence mutual and
the Obligation Reciprocal”.
Best wishes for Happy Wedding Anniversary.
55. I LOVE U are words just three,
which mean so much on our ANNIVERSARY.
so this is what i want to say,
live in my heart n there 4 ever stay!
56. Nothing in this world Could ever be
As wonderful as the love You’ve given me
Your love makes my days so very bright,
just knowing you’re my darling wife(Husband).
Happy Wedding Anniversary
57. How true my feelings were
I found out to be The best thing
in my life Was when you married me
Thank you my loving wife(loving Husband),
For the years we share I know one
thing for sure We make a wonderful pair
58. Hoping that the love u shared years ago
Is still as strong today as it was
then Bringing u much joy , love
and happiness To celebrate again.
Happy Anniversary
59. On this special day,
best wishes go to you,
that this wonderful love u share,
lasts ur lifetime through.
Happy anniversary to you my Love
60. To the beautiful couple in all the land,
May your anniversary be Happy and Grand.
Happy Anniversary
Monday, 2 January 2012
Free Marriage Day SMS 2
21. As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent.
22. Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.
23. Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
24. Marriage is a ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.
25. May you never leave your marriage alive.
26. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife.
27. Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.
28. love my eyes when U look into them,
I love my name when U say it,
I love my heart when U love it,
I love my life when U are in it.
29. As you continue to send out love, the energy returns to you in a regenerating spiral… As love accumulates, it keeps your system in balance and harmony. Love
is the tool, and more love is the end product.
30. A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
31. A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive.
32. Behind every Successful man
there is a satisfied woman.
But behind every satisfied woman.
there is an exausted man.
33. Evolution of Man:
Without Marriage “Spider Man”
On Marriage Day “Super Man”
After Marriage “Gentle Man”
If wife is beautiful then rest of life
.
.
.
.
“Watch Man”
34. Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the
bridegroom made to sit on the horse?
A: He is given his last chance to
run away…!!
35. I hide my tears when i say your name but the pain in my heart is still the same. Although i smile & seem carefree there is no one who mises u more than ME
36. Happiness as light as air.
LOVE as DEEP as OCEAN.
Friends as solid as diamonds and
success as bright as gold.
These r my wishes 4 u today n everyday…goodluck
37. Smile a while,
& when U smile,
smile another smile
& soon there will b miles
& miles of smile
bcoz you smiled .
i wish your day is full of SMILE
38. There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"
39. Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
40. In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!
22. Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.
23. Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
24. Marriage is a ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.
25. May you never leave your marriage alive.
26. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife.
27. Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.
28. love my eyes when U look into them,
I love my name when U say it,
I love my heart when U love it,
I love my life when U are in it.
29. As you continue to send out love, the energy returns to you in a regenerating spiral… As love accumulates, it keeps your system in balance and harmony. Love
is the tool, and more love is the end product.
30. A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
31. A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive.
32. Behind every Successful man
there is a satisfied woman.
But behind every satisfied woman.
there is an exausted man.
33. Evolution of Man:
Without Marriage “Spider Man”
On Marriage Day “Super Man”
After Marriage “Gentle Man”
If wife is beautiful then rest of life
.
.
.
.
“Watch Man”
34. Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the
bridegroom made to sit on the horse?
A: He is given his last chance to
run away…!!
35. I hide my tears when i say your name but the pain in my heart is still the same. Although i smile & seem carefree there is no one who mises u more than ME
36. Happiness as light as air.
LOVE as DEEP as OCEAN.
Friends as solid as diamonds and
success as bright as gold.
These r my wishes 4 u today n everyday…goodluck
37. Smile a while,
& when U smile,
smile another smile
& soon there will b miles
& miles of smile
bcoz you smiled .
i wish your day is full of SMILE
38. There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"
39. Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
40. In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!
Free Marriage Day SMS 1
1. My wife and I
were happy for 20 years.
Than we met.
2. Wife:
(expecting a car)
Gift me smthng which goes frm 0 to 100 in 3 seconds when I'm on it.
Husbnd gifted her a
weighing machine.... .!
3. On 20th Anniversary husbnd deep in thought..
Wife: Wat r u thinking?
Husbnd: Do u remember when ur dad caught us dating?
Wife's heart melts, thinks its sweet of him 2 still remembr that date
Husbnd: He pointed his gun at me & said either marry my daughter or go 2 jail for 20 years
Wife smiles ''Yes"
Husbnd sighs n says: Aaaaaaahhh!
i would've been free today!:-D
4. Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes
5. What’s the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time.
Neighbour’s wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.
6. Wat a married man says after years of marriage:- My marriage is made of Trust and Understanding, she doesn't Trust me and I dont Understand her.
7. I asked my wife,
“Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
“It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”
She said. So I suggested,
“How about the kitchen?”
8. Me and My Wife was Very Happy before….
9. To the beautiful couple in all the land, May your anniversary be Happy and Grand. Happy Anniversary.
10. On this special day, best wishes go to you, that this wonderful love u share, lasts ur lifetime through. Happy anniversary to you my LOVE
11. Hoping that the love u shared years ago Is still as strong today as it was then Bringing u much joy ,love and happiness To celebrate again. Happy Anniversary
12. Long after our anniversary And this greeting has been thrown away Think of the thought behind it, Each and everyday, Happy Anniversary
13. How true my feelings were I found out to be The best thing in my life Was when you married me Thank you my loving wife(loving Husband), For the years we share I know one thing for sure We make a wonderful pair!!
14. Before Marriage:-
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!
After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top
15. True relatives always
stand behind u during bad times.
Check ur marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind u!
16. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
17. A MAN IS INCOMPLETE BEFORE MARRIAGE.....AFTER THAT HE IS FINISHED...
18. An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.
19. There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for granted relationship.
20. All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
were happy for 20 years.
Than we met.
2. Wife:
(expecting a car)
Gift me smthng which goes frm 0 to 100 in 3 seconds when I'm on it.
Husbnd gifted her a
weighing machine.... .!
3. On 20th Anniversary husbnd deep in thought..
Wife: Wat r u thinking?
Husbnd: Do u remember when ur dad caught us dating?
Wife's heart melts, thinks its sweet of him 2 still remembr that date
Husbnd: He pointed his gun at me & said either marry my daughter or go 2 jail for 20 years
Wife smiles ''Yes"
Husbnd sighs n says: Aaaaaaahhh!
i would've been free today!:-D
4. Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes
5. What’s the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time.
Neighbour’s wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.
6. Wat a married man says after years of marriage:- My marriage is made of Trust and Understanding, she doesn't Trust me and I dont Understand her.
7. I asked my wife,
“Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
“It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”
She said. So I suggested,
“How about the kitchen?”
8. Me and My Wife was Very Happy before….
9. To the beautiful couple in all the land, May your anniversary be Happy and Grand. Happy Anniversary.
10. On this special day, best wishes go to you, that this wonderful love u share, lasts ur lifetime through. Happy anniversary to you my LOVE
11. Hoping that the love u shared years ago Is still as strong today as it was then Bringing u much joy ,love and happiness To celebrate again. Happy Anniversary
12. Long after our anniversary And this greeting has been thrown away Think of the thought behind it, Each and everyday, Happy Anniversary
13. How true my feelings were I found out to be The best thing in my life Was when you married me Thank you my loving wife(loving Husband), For the years we share I know one thing for sure We make a wonderful pair!!
14. Before Marriage:-
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!
After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top
15. True relatives always
stand behind u during bad times.
Check ur marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind u!
16. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
17. A MAN IS INCOMPLETE BEFORE MARRIAGE.....AFTER THAT HE IS FINISHED...
18. An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.
19. There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for granted relationship.
20. All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
Free Life Partner SMS 5
81. Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
82. Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
83. Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress.
84. Mother-in-law: a woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
85. Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition.
86. What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.
87. It's easy to understand love at first sight, but how do we explain love after two people have been looking at each other for years?
88. A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
89. In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do.
90. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
91. To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up.
92. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant.
You order what you want
But, when you see what the other person has,
You wish you had ordered that.
93. Besides lots of problems, marriage confers one very special privilege –
Only a married person can get divorced.
94. Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable.
95. When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
96. To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up.
97. The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.
98. A happy man marries the girl he loves;
a happier man loves the girl he
marries.
99. 2 Keep Ur Marriage Brimming,
Wid Love In The Wedding Cup,
Wenever U?re Wrong, Admit It;
Wenever U?re Right, Shut Up.
100. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence….(a life sentence!).
82. Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
83. Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress.
84. Mother-in-law: a woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
85. Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition.
86. What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.
87. It's easy to understand love at first sight, but how do we explain love after two people have been looking at each other for years?
88. A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
89. In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do.
90. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
91. To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up.
92. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant.
You order what you want
But, when you see what the other person has,
You wish you had ordered that.
93. Besides lots of problems, marriage confers one very special privilege –
Only a married person can get divorced.
94. Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable.
95. When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
96. To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up.
97. The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.
98. A happy man marries the girl he loves;
a happier man loves the girl he
marries.
99. 2 Keep Ur Marriage Brimming,
Wid Love In The Wedding Cup,
Wenever U?re Wrong, Admit It;
Wenever U?re Right, Shut Up.
100. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence….(a life sentence!).
Free Life Partner SMS 4
62. There is a way of transferring funds
That is even faster than net banking.
It is called marriage.
63. To keep ur marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever u're wrong, admit it,
Whenever u're right,
shut up..
64. In this world, every wife iz a mistress 2 her husband.
One hour of Miss and 23 hours of stress..
65. Getting married iz very much like going 2 a restaurant wid friendz. U order what u want,
& when u see what da other fellow has, u wish u had ordered dat.
66. A husband was returning home after cremating his wife.
He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky.
Husband thinks: She must have reached there.
67. Harassed Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.
Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal.
Husband: I know all that.
Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?
Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.
68. LOVE AND HONOUR YOUR PATNER,
HELP AND GIVE SERVICE.
BUT DO NOT BAHAVE LIKE A SLAVE.
69. What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.
70. The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.
71. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
72. Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
73. A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.
74. One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
75. Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
76. In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all.
77. In a court: So, Witness, what did you do when you saw this woman whacking her husband's head with this iron? I called my fiance and said I had changed my mind about marrying her.
78. Here's to matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented!
79. Marriage: that I call the will of two to create the one who is more than those who created it
80. Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves 'em still two fools.
That is even faster than net banking.
It is called marriage.
63. To keep ur marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever u're wrong, admit it,
Whenever u're right,
shut up..
64. In this world, every wife iz a mistress 2 her husband.
One hour of Miss and 23 hours of stress..
65. Getting married iz very much like going 2 a restaurant wid friendz. U order what u want,
& when u see what da other fellow has, u wish u had ordered dat.
66. A husband was returning home after cremating his wife.
He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky.
Husband thinks: She must have reached there.
67. Harassed Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.
Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal.
Husband: I know all that.
Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?
Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.
68. LOVE AND HONOUR YOUR PATNER,
HELP AND GIVE SERVICE.
BUT DO NOT BAHAVE LIKE A SLAVE.
69. What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.
70. The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.
71. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
72. Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
73. A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.
74. One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
75. Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
76. In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all.
77. In a court: So, Witness, what did you do when you saw this woman whacking her husband's head with this iron? I called my fiance and said I had changed my mind about marrying her.
78. Here's to matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented!
79. Marriage: that I call the will of two to create the one who is more than those who created it
80. Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves 'em still two fools.
Free Life Partner SMS 3
41. Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,
Husband:please slow down the speed of car.
Wife:No ;please. No; please No please No pls..
Husband:the Newspaper will publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh..
42. Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it̢۪s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first
43. Wife: i had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known the minute I asked you to marry me
44. HUSBAND- Shall v Try A Different Position 2Nite?
WiFE- Xcellent Idea, U Stand
At Da SINK & Wash Da Dishes
& I’ll Lie oN Da SoFA & Watch
Da T.V….
45. Husband to a newly wed wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife:Thanks,but promise me
you will stay there for the rest of your life.
46. Women Marry Men Hoping that They Will Change,
Men Marry Women Hoping that They Will Not..
Un4tunately It Happens in Contrast &
Ultimately Each 1 Gets Disappointed..
47. Fuming Wife: Wats my value in the family??
Techie Husband: An Unknown Virus..!!
48. Man & Wife were watchin a Boxing match in wich a boxer knockd out in round1
man says,
disgusting
It was ALL OVER in 1minute
Wife comments
NOW U know
how I Feel?
49. Wife: “If I sleep with your most loving friend,
what will be the first thought
that’ll come in your mind?”
Husband: “That you are a LESBIAN…”
50. Man come home,
Saw his Wife with his Friend in Bed.
He shoots his Friend.
Wife says “If you behave like this,
you will lose ALL your friend
51. Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that
Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.
52. Lady to her Friend,
“Me and my Husband
Disagree on Everything. . .
I’m Too Far to the Right
and He’s Too Far to
the Wrong.”
53. To Be Happy With a Men:Love Him Little And Understand Him Alot..
To Be Happy With a Woman:Love Her Alot And DO NOT TRY To Understand HER---
54. Married men live longr thn single men do,bt married men r a lot mre willng 2 die
55. A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'
56. Sign in wallpaper and paint store: "Husbands choosing colors must have note from wives"
57. At a lion’s marriage:
Cat to Rat : Why are you dancing like teasing the Lion ?
Rat to Cat : Before marriage, even i was a lion !!!
58. Intresting Fact but true....
Only Twenty Percent of man have Brains,
Rest of them have....
59. If some one would like to have
a successful life after marriage
so he should implement this formula.
Never break 4 things in life.
1. Promise
2. trust
3. heart
4. relation
It never sounds when it breaks
but pains a lot.
60. Wife runs home saying, Pack your bag honey, I won 10 crores in lottery
Husband: Should I pack for beach or hills?
Wife: Who cares?
61. A Man's Silence can break a Woman's heart into thousand pieces while A Woman's Silence can give a man a thousand moments of peace...
Husband:please slow down the speed of car.
Wife:No ;please. No; please No please No pls..
Husband:the Newspaper will publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh..
42. Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it̢۪s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first
43. Wife: i had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known the minute I asked you to marry me
44. HUSBAND- Shall v Try A Different Position 2Nite?
WiFE- Xcellent Idea, U Stand
At Da SINK & Wash Da Dishes
& I’ll Lie oN Da SoFA & Watch
Da T.V….
45. Husband to a newly wed wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife:Thanks,but promise me
you will stay there for the rest of your life.
46. Women Marry Men Hoping that They Will Change,
Men Marry Women Hoping that They Will Not..
Un4tunately It Happens in Contrast &
Ultimately Each 1 Gets Disappointed..
47. Fuming Wife: Wats my value in the family??
Techie Husband: An Unknown Virus..!!
48. Man & Wife were watchin a Boxing match in wich a boxer knockd out in round1
man says,
disgusting
It was ALL OVER in 1minute
Wife comments
NOW U know
how I Feel?
49. Wife: “If I sleep with your most loving friend,
what will be the first thought
that’ll come in your mind?”
Husband: “That you are a LESBIAN…”
50. Man come home,
Saw his Wife with his Friend in Bed.
He shoots his Friend.
Wife says “If you behave like this,
you will lose ALL your friend
51. Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that
Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.
52. Lady to her Friend,
“Me and my Husband
Disagree on Everything. . .
I’m Too Far to the Right
and He’s Too Far to
the Wrong.”
53. To Be Happy With a Men:Love Him Little And Understand Him Alot..
To Be Happy With a Woman:Love Her Alot And DO NOT TRY To Understand HER---
54. Married men live longr thn single men do,bt married men r a lot mre willng 2 die
55. A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'
56. Sign in wallpaper and paint store: "Husbands choosing colors must have note from wives"
57. At a lion’s marriage:
Cat to Rat : Why are you dancing like teasing the Lion ?
Rat to Cat : Before marriage, even i was a lion !!!
58. Intresting Fact but true....
Only Twenty Percent of man have Brains,
Rest of them have....
59. If some one would like to have
a successful life after marriage
so he should implement this formula.
Never break 4 things in life.
1. Promise
2. trust
3. heart
4. relation
It never sounds when it breaks
but pains a lot.
60. Wife runs home saying, Pack your bag honey, I won 10 crores in lottery
Husband: Should I pack for beach or hills?
Wife: Who cares?
61. A Man's Silence can break a Woman's heart into thousand pieces while A Woman's Silence can give a man a thousand moments of peace...
Free Life Partner SMS 2
21. Man Was Complaining 2 A Frnd
I'd It All
Money, A Beautiful House, A Big Car, D Luv Of A Prety Gal Thn Its
All Gone
Frnd: Wht Hapend?
Man: My Wife Found Out :)
22. Man 2 Her Fat Wife: 'Do U Wana Lose 10 Pounds Of Ugly Fat In Just 2 Mins?'
Wife:' Yes, Why Not. Tell Me Wht's d Procedure?'
Husband: 'Cut Off Ur Head' =P ;->
23. Wife: Wherever We Keep D Money,
Our Son Steals It.
I Don't Know What To Do About It
Hus: Keep It In His ENGINEERING Books.
He'll Never Touch!
24. Wife: Darling ! When Was The Last Time Our Son Wrote To Us ... ?
Husband: Just A Minute Sweetheart ! I'll See The Cheque-Book ... (-;
25. HUSBAND-Shall v Try A Different P?siti?n 2Nite?
WiFE-Xcellent Idea, U Stand
At Da SINK & Wash Da Dishes
& I?ll Lie ?N Da S?FA & Watch
Da T.V?;)
26. Wife- Beggar Who Came Yesterday Is Very Bad
Husband- WHY ?
Wife- I Gave Him Food Yesterday & Today He Gifted Me A Book How To Cook?
27. Wife:I Think Our Daughter ?s ?n Love with Someone?
Husband:
How Do U Know??
Wife:
Bcoz She is Not Asking For Pocket Money?
28. a seventy years old man asked his wife.
Do you feel sad when u see me running behind young girls?
Wife: No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can?t drive it.
29. Radio Quiz:
Should women have children after 35?
Sardar Replied:
No, 35 children are more than enough!
30. Wife: If I removed da cook & make da food myself 4 a month,what will u pay me?
Husband: I don?t hav 2 pay u, u?ll get my entire insurance amount.;-)
31. Man On His Death Bed Confesses 2 His Wife-I Had An Affair With Ur Sister, Ur Best Frd & The Maid.
Wife : I Know Darling. Now Relax & Let The Poison Work! ..;-)
32. A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan.
Husband:What was THAT for?
Wife:I found a paper in your pocket, with the name Jenny on it.
Husband:I played RACE last week and Jenny was the name of my HORSE.
Wife:Sorry!
Next day the Wife hit him with the Frying Pan AGAIN!
Husband:Why?
Wife:Your Horse PHONED!
33. A Couple Drove For several Miles, Not saying A Word
As They Passed A ?arnyard Θf Mules & Donkeys,
Wife; Relatives Θf Ψours .!
Husband: Yep, My In-Laws?!
34. A Small Argument Betwn A Couple Turns Violent.
Angry Husband: Do Not Let D Animal In Me Cum Out.
Wife: Who Is Scared Of A Mouse!
35. ?Friendship Among Women?
A woman didn?t come home @ night. The next day she told her husband she?d slept over at a friend?s house
The man called his wife?s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it
?Friendship among Men?
A man didn?t come home 1 night. The next day he told his wife he slept over at a friend?s house
The woman called her husband?s 10 best friends. 8 of them said, he did sleep over and 2 claimed, he wz still there !
36. Husband:I?ll admit I?m wrong if u?ll admit I?m right!
Wife:I agree! u go first!
Husband:Ok?I?m wrong!
Wife(with a twinkle in her eye):you are right!
37. Husband: I am Going Out For Five Days...!
Wife: Ok But Don't Surprise Me By Coming Back Early, OtherWise U'll Be Surprised. . . ;->
38. Husband:
You know,
wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did ,
I still got mine with me!
39. Wife: What is so interesting in me?
Husband: I dont know the meaning of interesting!!!
40. Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, ?What other problem [?]
I'd It All
Money, A Beautiful House, A Big Car, D Luv Of A Prety Gal Thn Its
All Gone
Frnd: Wht Hapend?
Man: My Wife Found Out :)
22. Man 2 Her Fat Wife: 'Do U Wana Lose 10 Pounds Of Ugly Fat In Just 2 Mins?'
Wife:' Yes, Why Not. Tell Me Wht's d Procedure?'
Husband: 'Cut Off Ur Head' =P ;->
23. Wife: Wherever We Keep D Money,
Our Son Steals It.
I Don't Know What To Do About It
Hus: Keep It In His ENGINEERING Books.
He'll Never Touch!
24. Wife: Darling ! When Was The Last Time Our Son Wrote To Us ... ?
Husband: Just A Minute Sweetheart ! I'll See The Cheque-Book ... (-;
25. HUSBAND-Shall v Try A Different P?siti?n 2Nite?
WiFE-Xcellent Idea, U Stand
At Da SINK & Wash Da Dishes
& I?ll Lie ?N Da S?FA & Watch
Da T.V?;)
26. Wife- Beggar Who Came Yesterday Is Very Bad
Husband- WHY ?
Wife- I Gave Him Food Yesterday & Today He Gifted Me A Book How To Cook?
27. Wife:I Think Our Daughter ?s ?n Love with Someone?
Husband:
How Do U Know??
Wife:
Bcoz She is Not Asking For Pocket Money?
28. a seventy years old man asked his wife.
Do you feel sad when u see me running behind young girls?
Wife: No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can?t drive it.
29. Radio Quiz:
Should women have children after 35?
Sardar Replied:
No, 35 children are more than enough!
30. Wife: If I removed da cook & make da food myself 4 a month,what will u pay me?
Husband: I don?t hav 2 pay u, u?ll get my entire insurance amount.;-)
31. Man On His Death Bed Confesses 2 His Wife-I Had An Affair With Ur Sister, Ur Best Frd & The Maid.
Wife : I Know Darling. Now Relax & Let The Poison Work! ..;-)
32. A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan.
Husband:What was THAT for?
Wife:I found a paper in your pocket, with the name Jenny on it.
Husband:I played RACE last week and Jenny was the name of my HORSE.
Wife:Sorry!
Next day the Wife hit him with the Frying Pan AGAIN!
Husband:Why?
Wife:Your Horse PHONED!
33. A Couple Drove For several Miles, Not saying A Word
As They Passed A ?arnyard Θf Mules & Donkeys,
Wife; Relatives Θf Ψours .!
Husband: Yep, My In-Laws?!
34. A Small Argument Betwn A Couple Turns Violent.
Angry Husband: Do Not Let D Animal In Me Cum Out.
Wife: Who Is Scared Of A Mouse!
35. ?Friendship Among Women?
A woman didn?t come home @ night. The next day she told her husband she?d slept over at a friend?s house
The man called his wife?s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it
?Friendship among Men?
A man didn?t come home 1 night. The next day he told his wife he slept over at a friend?s house
The woman called her husband?s 10 best friends. 8 of them said, he did sleep over and 2 claimed, he wz still there !
36. Husband:I?ll admit I?m wrong if u?ll admit I?m right!
Wife:I agree! u go first!
Husband:Ok?I?m wrong!
Wife(with a twinkle in her eye):you are right!
37. Husband: I am Going Out For Five Days...!
Wife: Ok But Don't Surprise Me By Coming Back Early, OtherWise U'll Be Surprised. . . ;->
38. Husband:
You know,
wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did ,
I still got mine with me!
39. Wife: What is so interesting in me?
Husband: I dont know the meaning of interesting!!!
40. Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, ?What other problem [?]
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