Dirty SMS Collection 1

Dirty SMS Collection
1. Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow? Listen you prat i live in a
flat so how the damn do i know.

2. Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now
they have a son.

3. Mary had a little lamb & tied it to a pylon a 1000 volts shot up its ass & turned
it into nylon

4. Mirror Mirror on the wall.Whos the fairest of them all?The mirror laughed & den it
spat- It sure aint u.u ungly prat!

5. I was nervous at first, it was big & long &went straight up, Ihad to try it... i eased myself
onto it & i liked it! i went up & down on it, i love escalators now

6. From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue
feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!

7. In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think
of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because
I am hungry.

8. Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But
1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

9. I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

10. It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed
just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea!

11. Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could
work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!

12. At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow
quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?

13. Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in
slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam

14. Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel
u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?

15. I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust
in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH

16. come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied
lovingly urs TOILET!!!!

17. Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u...
well get out of my way!

18. At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

19. Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.