1. You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.
2. Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants
3. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
4. Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride?
5. Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.
6. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
7. He's so full of shit, his eyes are brown
8. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
9. He dips Sparrows in Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.
10. His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.
11. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
12. People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from them
13. He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.
14. We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
15. You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and dodging the issue.
16. As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.
17. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything you are not...
18. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...
19. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lightin
20. Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
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